SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
