Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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