I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
