Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you can still come hang out if you want

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I really don't feel like watching you play video games

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  (717): you can still come hang out if you want (248): I really don't feel like watching you play video games http://tfl.nu/d4ru
  Replies (19) Good night (1006) Bad night (1724)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.

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  (512): uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on. http://tfl.nu/0y74
  Replies (13) Good night (677) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.

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  (+44): Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms. http://tfl.nu/jipl
  Replies (12) Good night (880) Bad night (5152)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.

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  (908): did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp. http://tfl.nu/a6do
  Replies (41) Good night (21475) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."

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  (281): he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to." http://tfl.nu/qnhd
  Replies (16) Good night (2043) Bad night (5756)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.

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  (717): i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it. http://tfl.nu/e8nk
  Replies (2) Good night (2170) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird

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  (630): Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird http://tfl.nu/yn9e
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (1650)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.

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  (951): Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem. http://tfl.nu/85aq
  Replies (4) Good night (2268) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts

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  (925): We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts http://tfl.nu/eq30
  Replies (7) Good night (1795) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago

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  (940): Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago http://tfl.nu/00op
  Replies (2) Good night (1165) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.

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  (660): What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food. http://tfl.nu/k4pm
  Replies (10) Good night (1272) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs

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  (320): Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs http://tfl.nu/s3ur
  Replies (4) Good night (545) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?

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  (626): Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child? http://tfl.nu/0p9q
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.

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  (865): I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved. http://tfl.nu/vcfc
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.

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  (307): Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working. http://tfl.nu/eaxa
  Replies (0) Good night (325) Bad night (180)

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