He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet