Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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