Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.

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  (773): So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight. http://tfl.nu/dnnn
  Replies (29) Good night (736) Bad night (2782)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.

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  (407): me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun. http://tfl.nu/sy2c
  Replies (41) Good night (4190) Bad night (1222)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  They should make Jack Daniels chap stick

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  (512): They should make Jack Daniels chap stick http://tfl.nu/3f21
  Replies (31) Good night (6158) Bad night (718)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...

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  (320): im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it... http://tfl.nu/g5dr
  Replies (14) Good night (5617) Bad night (756)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.

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  (715): I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one. http://tfl.nu/ogtf
  Replies (77) Good night (7173) Bad night (1660)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"

  (631): View more from New York

  I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...

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  (631): Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship" (631): I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint... http://tfl.nu/594s
  Replies (19) Good night (4132) Bad night (1141)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.

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  (574): It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later. http://tfl.nu/qtru
  Replies (9) Good night (2247) Bad night (954)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  True on all accounts.

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  (702): I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me. (1-702): True on all accounts. http://tfl.nu/tt9s
  Replies (13) Good night (3460) Bad night (918)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I think mounting someone proves who's house this is

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  (602): I think mounting someone proves who's house this is http://tfl.nu/3n41
  Replies (5) Good night (1571) Bad night (691)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face

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  (248): Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face http://tfl.nu/s7dy
  Replies (12) Good night (632) Bad night (1911)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.

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  (704): There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die. http://tfl.nu/gg2b
  Replies (15) Good night (513) Bad night (1814)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.

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  (901): Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician. http://tfl.nu/nnrt
  Replies (7) Good night (1926) Bad night (526)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.

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  (815): I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex. http://tfl.nu/6un6
  Replies (11) Good night (1538) Bad night (502)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.

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  (843): Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco. http://tfl.nu/7zc7
  Replies (6) Good night (1016) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?

  (650): View more from California

  There is so much wrong with that sentence

  (707): View more from California

  Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real

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  (707): I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom? (650): There is so much wrong with that sentence (707): Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real http://tfl.nu/wzrt
  Replies (5) Good night (950) Bad night (441)

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