Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?

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  (740): Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong? http://tfl.nu/7sw3
  Replies (13) Good night (3942) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm watching ellen!

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show

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  (615): I'm watching ellen! (1-615): just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show http://tfl.nu/chlu
  Replies (12) Good night (11483) Bad night (1584)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  his penis was the training wheels of my sex life

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  (610): his penis was the training wheels of my sex life http://tfl.nu/y4t8
  Replies (16) Good night (4744) Bad night (1303)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex

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  (620): throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex http://tfl.nu/5t79
  Replies (17) Good night (5884) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"

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  (401): You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car" http://tfl.nu/0yb1
  Replies (7) Good night (2512) Bad night (1080)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore

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  (208): Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore http://tfl.nu/7jsm
  Replies (11) Good night (3794) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.

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  (504): This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point. http://tfl.nu/a4gy
  Replies (5) Good night (939) Bad night (2803)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?

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  (410): How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad? http://tfl.nu/jjfi
  Replies (5) Good night (628) Bad night (1695)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..

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  (412): Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza.. http://tfl.nu/7ino
  Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?

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  (563): What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names? http://tfl.nu/tbo9
  Replies (2) Good night (1030) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc

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  (314): I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc http://tfl.nu/aic3
  Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.

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  (508): Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country. http://tfl.nu/6o4g
  Replies (16) Good night (1077) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.

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  (336): Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces. http://tfl.nu/v7yr
  Replies (5) Good night (664) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.

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  (585): I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet. http://tfl.nu/tbft
  Replies (2) Good night (375) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.

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  (917): You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude. http://tfl.nu/0uba
  Replies (0) Good night (492) Bad night (324)

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