I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.