I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
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Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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