some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
