I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
