Im at strip club and am horny
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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