Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
