Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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