Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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