I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Randomize
