There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
