can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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