He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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