Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Text me some of your sweat
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize