So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
