Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
