Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
