Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
