im drinking this country out of the recession.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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