I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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