hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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