Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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