"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
