Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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