You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
