If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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