I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
