i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
