She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
