why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just gift wrapped bread.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The uberlube is also flammable
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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