Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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