remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
