I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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