when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
