Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
