dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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