I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
