yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
