There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She needs sedatives and a leash
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
