I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
