i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
