What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
this is an emotional support booty call
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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