i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize