i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
