i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
