Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
