I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
