I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
