I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
