fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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