I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
is wine microwaveable?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i believe in u and ur pee
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize