It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
