How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
