just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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