Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
