Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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