well you can't waste a boner
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize