Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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