Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
